My Greatest Covid Fear: What If I Miss the Invitation?

We’ve all felt it. The fear and anxiety that come with the word “pandemic.” The word turns our world upside down, and with the turning comes fear. It’s our human response when our safety, the safety of those we love, is threatened. Also the fear of the unknown and whether I can get Clorox wipes and toilet paper at the store. Or even go to the store. And now we’re wearing masks in public. What is happening? The list changes daily—what feels most compromised and uncertain today?

But as this has gone on for weeks now, I’m aware of a different fear. Because in the middle of all the slowing and the stopping and the trauma of these days, I sense an invitation. And I’m afraid I will miss it, afraid we will miss it.

What if something is trying to be born, to be made new, to be healed, and we miss it altogether?

Mercy in the Wilderness: Prayer for a Pandemic

What if this time we share in the wilderness offers us a gift? The gift of our own undoing. What if it opens the doorways to our souls? The place where we find our true selves again. Where we find one another again. Where we find God again. Or maybe for the first time. Or maybe in a new way. What if we find a new way to be ourselves? To be together? What if there’s mercy in the pruning?

Honestly, it feels like it’s too soon to offer the words “gift” or “mercy” into the chaos. Because there’s so much pain right now. So much fear, anxiety, uncertainty. All of this is real. We feel it deeply, the groaning in our world. We can’t rush or push or work our way past it (although some will try). We must first hold this space together, acknowledge the fear and loss, and find a way to walk together through it. Loving, serving, praying, we will find the way through.